Updated: Sep 11, 2020
From my Journal on 6/13/2020
It seems that the Awakening experience in early March began a process of transformation for me. I have no idea whether I am seeing correlation or causation. That said I lot has happened since then. First of all I am much stronger than I was then, and second of all my mental capacity is much much better. All in all I feel both mentally and physically stronger than I have at least since my stroke. I have been what I have sometimes called “full of piss and vinegar”. I just have more energy, and I am staying engaged with my life more, really mostly all day. I hardly ever just sit down doing nothing like I used to. I also find myself helping Winnie more and taking care of daily responsibilities more. It is hard to explain. I got ready to say I felt more “normal”, but that doesn’t get it really. I guess I can put it this way: I feel like I am much more like the person I feel called to be: more like “That Man” really.
My “awareness” is also much more active. I notice pictures and icons more and actually think about them more, both in my office, in my bedroom, and really in the rest of the house. When I walk outside I notice the trees, the houses, the yards, and the people. I notice the beauty in all of that more, and before that I didn’t notice much at all. Yesterday I noticed a picture in the living room that was crooked and straitened it up. It had been that way I’m told for a long time. I don’t really know how to express it. It seems more than what I can put into words. I have been thinking for quite a while that I needed to get up early and do my morning time, but never did it. Now it seems automatic. I wake up very close to 6:30 every morning, and just get up, go to the bathroom, make my bed, put on my robe, light my candles, and do my morning time, including mostly what is in my Rule. There is some variation on content, but that still seems good. I have also gotten really serious about my writing again.
I am very grateful about all of this.