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  • Writer's pictureRichard Southworth

Awakening Summary

I have previously posted five different awakening experiences. Each of the were critical turning points on my spiritual journey. As I thought about those experiences I found myself looking to see if there was a pattern so I summarized them in a separate document.


Awakening I: Letting Go and Becoming Authentic - March 2, 2020

Awakening II: Continued Growth - June 13, 2020

Awakening III: Becoming More Peaceful - August 19, 2020

Awakening IV: Just Living My Life - September 1, 2020

Awakening V: Gratefulness - September 11, 2020


Letting Go






Letting Go and Becoming Authentic

March 2, 2020

I sat down to do my morning time. During the meditation something “came to me". For a half hour I got a clear detailed message that I was to let go of both my battle with contemporary theology and my struggle to find a theology of my own. It was so very freeing. It is part of what one writer calls “owning your own journey.” Both letting go and owning your own journey are central issues in the whole spiritual journey. Both are about becoming authentic and being who we really are and who you are called to be by our Sacred Inner Voice. They are also about living that authentic person in the nitty gritty details of our day-to-day lives. They are central to transformation and conversion of heart. For me that journey has been an often very hard path, but it has also been extremely rewarding. Without that spiritual work I would not be the person I am now. I am very grateful for that growth.

Continued Growth

June 13, 2020

The Awakening experience in early March began another process of transformation for me. A lot has happened since then. First of all I am much stronger than I was then, and second of all my mental capacity is much better. I feel better than I have since my stroke in November 2018. From then until Awakening I I was in healing mode, but it was more than that. I did not have any real drive. I just kind of walked through my day with no real energy. Somehow over time the letting go gave me the drive to do the physical and the spiritual work I needed to do. I feel like I am much more like the person I feel called to be: more like Henri Nouwen’s “That Man”. (Link) I am much more able to live that authentically in my day-to-day life. That letting go and being who you are leads to other growth and healing that involves the mind, body, and spirit.

Becoming More Peaceful

August 19, 2020

Realized last night that sometimes I tend to be driven all day. Need to work on that. This is really important. It needs to become my current spiritual project. I need to slow down, and calm down. This drivenness is usually focused on staying active and getting mostly good things done, but it ultimately stresses me out and I need to stop it. When I took this into my time apart I “remembered” an image on the wall of my office entitled “Zen Things (Link) which lists twelve practices that specifically address the drivenness, and they work for me. The questions just come to me, and then in my journaling the answers come to me as well. The journaling seems to train my mind to listen to my Sacred Inner Being. This seems like real Divine Union. I feel more and more like the person I am called to be by that Sacred Inner being, by that Mysterious Other I call God, and more and more peaceful as I go through my day.

Just Living My Life

September 1, 2020

As I look at the pictures and images in my bedroom they had a different meaning. Each pair was still about the journey and then the living. There was still the one about “growth” to remind me that growth is an important part of living my life, but it is no longer so much of a project. It is just another part of living my life. Each pair of images seemed to mark some kind of turning point. Up to now the journey and the living has involved the hard work of transformation and conversion of heart. This morning both were simply about how I live my life. I realized that my practice and my journaling have also become an integral part of the way I live my life. There is still growth and transformation to experience, but it is not so much “the work of the spiritual journey”. It is more and more just a part of the way I live. I am no longer striving to become something in the future, though I am sure there is still growth and transformation to come. My spiritual practice is a real part of how I walk thru my life.


September 11, 2020

My path was difficult, but I kept going and I kept striving, and it almost always seemed ok. I took some advice and rejected others. When it became obvious that some paths were no longer the right path, I looked for a different path, and there always was another path. I was often unsure whether I was on the right path, and sometimes the choices were hard, but I kept going. I really did take The Road Less Traveled (Link), and as a result I really did develop A Religion of My Own (Link). Both are very positive things for me. I learned much along each of those different paths, and I really am grateful for both the different paths and for each change along the way. I am also grateful for how my current path really works for me now! Yet he truth I would not be where I am now without all of those experiences. I am also grateful for the fact this path still is leading to continued growth.

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