From my Journal on May 8, 2020. Things they are a changing! Not sure how to put it into words. It all seems to have started with my March 20 “Awakening”. That seemed to be just about giving up on trying to find an acceptable “theology”. It interesting that after that I really was no longer even interested in the theology anymore. I didn’t even have to work at it. Truth is that I had to work at even being part of the discussions at Sunday School and small group. But it seems that something else started there. There was the beginning of the death of the ego thing which was good. That requires a bit of work, but I really feel “on it”. Yet that does not capture it really. I just feel a lot better both mentally and physically. I feel like I have some passion again. Problem is that I haven’t quite figured out where to put it. I think that is because it is not a passion focused on one thing. It is a passion to live live fully all around. I want to stay busy. I want to get things done. I have cleaned out my todo list. I have gotten up and done my “morning time”. I have done exercises. What is still unsettled is my writing. Do I just go back to it? Do I send out a request for editors to Sunday school and Ralph’s group? Do I set up a new blog on Wix? Do I start on something new? Do I do all of the above? Maybe so. It just feels good to be “fired up” again. We’ll have to see where this all leads, but it is all good. Some more meditative inquiry seems to be called for.
Updated: Sep 11, 2020